Love Yourself, Change Your World: Understanding the Role of Self-Care and Self-Love in creating Wellness

Self-care and self-love are closely related but distinct concepts. Both are deeply personal and individualized experiences, meaning there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What feels like self-care or self-love to one person may look entirely different for another. In a broad sense, self-care consists of the actions and practices that support your physical, emotional, and mental well-being, while self-love is the mindset and internal relationship you have with yourself.

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What Is Self-Care?

Self-care consists of behaviors and actions that support physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Some forms of self-care include:

• Physical activity: This can be structured exercise or simply anything that gets your body moving and your blood flowing.

• Personal hygiene and basic needs: Showering, brushing your teeth, eating when you’re hungry, and drinking water when you’re thirsty all count as self-care.

• Rest and replenishment: Rest is not just about sleep; it includes emotional, social, sensory, and mental rest. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s book Sacred Rest outlines seven types of rest, all of which play a role in maintaining well-being.

• Managing stress: Eliminating or reducing stressors, when possible, is another important form of self-care.

• Caring for your physical space: Organizing, decluttering, or creating an environment that brings you peace can help support your emotional state.

• Preventative healthcare: Going to the doctor for routine check-ups, visiting the dentist, and taking care of your body before problems arise is an essential aspect of self-care.

What Is Self-Love?

Self-love extends beyond specific actions or behaviors. It encompasses how you view, talk to, and treat yourself. You can practice self-love in several ways:

• Self-kindness: Being gentle with yourself instead of engaging in harsh self-criticism.

• Self-compassion: Allowing yourself to make mistakes without defining yourself by setbacks. Recognizing mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth helps foster resilience.

• Self-acceptance: Understanding, embracing, and accepting who you are—even the parts that may feel rough around the edges.

• Keeping promises to yourself: Following through on commitments you make to yourself, whether big or small, strengthens self-trust.

• Celebrating accomplishments: Acknowledging your wins, no matter how small, and recognizing your growth.

• Setting boundaries: Self-love is about choosing who you allow into your life, being able to say “no” when necessary, and embracing “yes” with confidence.

How Self-Care and Self-Love Compliment Each Other

The relationship between self-care and self-love is quite complimentary, as they overlap and reinforce one another. While each has its own distinct role, many self-care practices also reflect self-love.

For example, engaging in activities that bring joy—such as hobbies, creative pursuits, or simply allowing yourself to have fun—is both an act of self-care and self-love. Taking time for enjoyment and relaxation not only prevents burnout but also nurtures a sense of fulfillment and well-being.

The people you surround yourself with also play a significant role in both self-care and self-love. Choosing to spend time with those who are supportive, uplifting, and emotionally safe fosters a positive environment where you can thrive. On the other hand, staying in relationships that are critical, unsupportive, or emotionally draining can be a form of self-neglect and can impact your emotional and physical well-being over time. If you have struggled with people-pleasing, you may have maintained connections out of guilt or obligation rather than genuine emotional alignment. Recognizing that you deserve relationships where you feel seen, heard, and valued is a powerful act of self-love—one that also contributes to your overall mental health.

Where to Start If You Struggle with Self-Love

If self-love feels unfamiliar or difficult, start with self-care. We naturally care for things we value, so by prioritizing self-care, you begin to cultivate a foundation for self-love. Treating yourself with kindness, care, and compassion—just as you would for someone you love—can transform the way you see yourself over time. Self-love is not about perfection; it’s about consistently choosing to honor your well-being, your needs, and your worth.