Choosing Community Over Convenience

Community has become a buzzword—something we say we want, yet often struggle to cultivate. In a world that prioritizes independence, efficiency, and personal comfort, true connection requires something inconvenient—our presence.

Despite our deep human longing for connection, many of us hesitate to invest in relationships in meaningful ways. Why? Because we’ve been conditioned to see time through the lens of productivity. Hustle culture tells us that busyness equals worth, leaving little room for organic, unstructured connection. Relationships become another item to schedule rather than a natural part of life.

But connection isn’t a luxury—it’s a fundamental need. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs tells us that survival comes first and then we can pursue more advanced goals that support belonging, esteem and self actualization. But what’s often overlooked is that connection helps secure survival. Supportive relationships build resilience, helping us adapt and thrive in difficult times. Without them, we risk loneliness, anxiety, and emotional distress.

Yet real community isn’t built in grand, scheduled events—it’s nurtured in small, everyday moments:

• A friend going through a divorce needs help moving, but you had plans to relax. Showing up strengthens your bond and reminds them they’re not alone.

• A neighbor stops to chat as you get home from work. You’d rather head inside, but engaging with them fosters a sense of belonging.

• A friend calls when you’re unwinding. Answering may not be ideal, but meaningful relationships require time, not just when it’s convenient.

These moments may seem minor, but they are the foundation of deep, lasting relationships. When we prioritize convenience, we replace genuine connection with surface-level interactions—quick texts, social media check-ins, networking events. But true community isn’t about performance—it’s about presence.

And presence is restorative. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s concept of social rest reminds us that not all rest is solitary. We often think of rest as isolation—binge-watching a show alone, scrolling on our phones—but true rest is also found in relationships that make us feel seen, safe, and supported. Social rest lowers stress, improves mental health, increases resilience, and enhances overall well-being.

Creating community is going to require us to invest something, which includes giving of our time, attention and energy. And boundaries matter. We can not give from a place of deprivation or give at the expense of our personal well-being. Creating and nurturing is about balance and awareness. Knowing when to give and when to rest. Know when to pour out and when to protect our peace. All while being reminded that true peace isn’t found in isolation, and that boundaries aren’t meant to keep people out. Boundaries are about preservation, of our well-being and our relationships. Boundaries are what we need to feel safe, seen, regulated, respected and loved, and apply to people, places and things.

Investing in community doesn't have to mean perpetual self-sacrifice. But if we want real connection, we must be willing to slow down, shift our priorities, and make space for the messy, inconvenient beauty of community. Because at the end of the day, the real cost of connection isn’t the time or effort it takes to build—it’s what we lose when we fail to invest in it.

How is convenience keeping you from community?

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Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash